Longing for Spring . . . oh, and Who Dey!
Well that was a substantially extended holiday hiatus. My apologies. So much has happened in the past six weeks that it feels complicated to even sit down now and write. But here is my pledge to get back onto my regular rhythm of writing a Monday article, a Wednesday thought, and Friday’s Favorite Thing. I have truly missed it and I am thankful to have the opportunity to pick it up once again.
Where to start? We are currently in the midst of yet another quarantine. We had COVID for Thanksgiving and then we were back in the world for 10 days before we got the flu for Christmas. We made it back to school for 1 week before Zeke had a tonsillectomy and 2 days later wound up with COVID, which he passed to the rest of us. It has been a long winter. I find myself already dreaming of the smell of the rain and the first sight of the flowers that won’t pop up until March or so. I daydream of throwing on our rain boots and heading out to the soccer field. Never have I longed for spring so early in the year. I usually enjoy the quiet, stillness of the winter. After the excitement of Christmas is passed and we are all home and hunkered down together. It is usually a time where we put our heads down and get some work done: schoolwork, indoor house projects, things that seem easier to do when the outdoors is not calling us so intensely. But already this year my heart longs for spring. This longing is of course for warmth and flowers and all the lovely things that spring brings, but it’s also more.
The winter has been hard. It has been isolating to be forced to be home for this many bouts of sickness. Many people around me are going through hard things right now and there is nothing that I can do to help. Pain and suffering, grief and sorrow, they abound in many of the lives surrounding mine. I’ve seen hurtful words spoken, families torn apart, and spirits crushed. There is a dryness, an intense longing for something more that has started to pervade my heart. I think that longing is for healing, for restoration. That longing is for spring.
I reached out to a few people last week in the midst of my own struggle– Austin and I were sick, Zeke was incredibly miserable whining and crying constantly, 2 other kids had fevers, we had been getting up at night to dose meds for days, there were other interpersonal things going on that were taking an emotional toll. I felt dry, I felt tired, I felt used up. I asked for prayer. Each of these sweet, godly women responding in different ways, but they all said this one thing that was the same– He is with you and He sees you. My initial reaction was to brush this off, yes, yes of course, He sees me . . .. But the more times I saw those same words, I had to stop and think. Clearly God was trying to say something to me. Did I really feel like He was with me? Had I really considered that He sees me? In the desert, in the dryness, in the sleep deprivation, in the nursing and the nurturing and the discipling and the schooling and the cooking and the cleaning . . . He sees me, He is with me. The truth was that I didn’t feel that way at all. I felt isolated and alone. But this was a lie– God used those women in my life to speak truth over me.
And just like that, the tide changed– I made sure I did my bible reading each day–I picked up a great new book. I used my night waking hours for prayer. I decided I needed a new verse on my bookshelf by my favorite chair– and low and behold, I pulled this verse out of the bag randomly: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” Psalm 46:16. You know why? Because He see me. Because He is with me. Because He is speaking to me. No matter what I face or what I walk, He is there. So while it is 19 degrees outside this morning, spring has come. Healing and restoration has come to my heart, it was right there waiting for me. My heart can rejoice and be glad because He restores all things. He is making all things new.
If you are in a desert this morning, if you feel dry and used up, worn out and discouraged– He is with you and He sees you. Cry out to the Lord in your trouble– He is already there, you only need to turn to Him. My bible reading plan had me reading from Psalm 107 this morning:
“Some wandered in desert wastes,
finding no way to a city to dwell in;
hungry and thirsty,
their soul fainted within them.
Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
and he delivered them from their distress.
He led them by a straight way
till they reached a city to dwell in.
Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
for his wondrous works to the children of man!
For he satisfies the longing soul,
and the hungry soul he fills with good things.”
Psalm 107:4-9
Amen. He satisfies the longing soul and the hungry soul he fills with good things.
And on a lighter note– Who Dey. Spring has also come for the Bengals and our family is ecstatic. It is a new day in Cincinnati, a day with a winning sports team? It’s hard to even believe it, but man has the ride been fun. We’re all excited to get decked out in our gear again and eat some more junk food next week as we take on the Kansas City Chiefs once again. We believe.
