Humility.

What is humility?  This word gets thrown around and I think it’s one of those things where we know it when we see it, but it can be sort of difficult to define.  Humility is the opposite of pride, we know that.  But what is it really?  Meriam-Webster defines humility as “freedom from pride or arrogance : the quality or state of being humble.”  Well, that’s just not helpful at all.  Humble is defined as “not proud : not thinking of yourself as better than other people.” 

Personally, I like the explanation that Hannah Anderson gives in her book, Humble Roots.  She says humility is recognizing that “You’re Not God.”  When I want to control all the things, when I don’t understand why something is happening in my life, when someone else’s choices are just really bothering me – I AM NOT GOD.  I can’t control all the things, only God can do that.  I may not understand why certain things happen the way that they do.  I may wish that they were different, and maybe there is something that I can do to help, but I also can accept that I am not ultimately in control. 

This is a journey that I’ve been walking through over the last year as I’ve read through Hannah’s book.  Humility puts us in the right place in the story and it also frees us to be who God created us to be.  As we become less concerned with controlling all of the things that are outside of our control, as we stop looking around and worrying about the decisions of others, we’re free to do what God has called us to do.  This is truly freeing and can actually make us more productive, more creative, more excited to do the things before us. 

Humility is not something that comes easily for me.  This is a hard thing to admit because what does that mean?  That I’m egotistical?  That’s not really what I mean.  I don’t think I’m egotistical, but I do struggle with pride.  I tend to be more independent, defensive, always believing that I can fix my own problems and that my way is the best way.  My first thought isn’t always to turn to God or to a friend, it’s often more about how I can solve the issue.  In fact, this makes me my own worst critic.  Since I believe everything is up to me and that I must fix it all, when I don’t, or I can’t, I beat myself up.  This may not initially seem like pride but look closer.  When I think that I can fix all situations by just working harder, thinking smarter, and “putting on my big girl panties,” I’m not acknowledging that I’m not God.  I’m not recognizing my place in the bigger story. 

On the other hand, when I choose to remember that God is sovereign, and that he has placed these things in my path with a purpose, I can lower myself and I can accept them with grace and humility.  Humility allows me to take correction from even an imperfect person.  It allows me to hear slivers of truth in a rebuke that may be unfair.  Humility allows me to not be overcome with fear and worry when someone in my family has a potentially serious medical issue.  Humility reminds me that isn’t up to me to make choices for others, even if I think my way is better.  Humility allows me to stop arguing with someone, even if I think they got it wrong.  Humility acknowledges that I do not know or understand everything, that there may be something I’ve missed or misunderstood.  That even if I’m correct, the other person is more important than me proving that I’m right.  Humility allows me to see the beauty in a friend who is better at organizing, teaching, self-discipline, you name it.  Humility allows me to learn and grow when I see something in others that I lack. 

And finally, humility frees me to be who God really calls me to be.  It frees to me to run towards the things that I love and that I’m good at.  He gave me these giftings, he placed these things on my heart.  He doesn’t want me running around trying to fix and control all of the things that are outside of my purview.  He wants me to be right here, doing the things he’s asked of me, remembering that I AM NOT GOD.