Read to Your Older Kids
I think we all recognize that reading to our kids is important when they are little. We have this desire to instill in them a love of reading and of story, and so we pick up Dear Zoo and read it even when those little ones toddle around the room and only half listen. My children have always loved to be read to and it can be such a sweet, calm time to grab a book and cuddle up on the couch and read together. When my children were difficult as toddlers, especially when I had 3 under 3-years-old, I would grab a book and corral them to the couch and all was well. We have had many a “rainy day fort” that was filled with books to be read. It is lovely and wonderful and a joy to read to those little ones.
But I’ve noticed that something happens when they start to read for themselves. We start picking up those picture books less and less, we encourage them to read on their own and we start reading to them less. To be fair, there are only so many hours in a day and now there is schoolwork to be done, independent reading to be completed, dance, soccer, piano, and a whole host of other things. Where have the simple mornings of a rocking chair and a pile of Robert McCloskey books gone? Now, days are full and hectic and so often it doesn’t even occur to me to read The Giant Jumperee to my 7-year-old. But you know what, she still loves it. She still gets joy out of Baby Frog hopping onto the scene and laughs with the animals as he heads home for tea. Even my 9-year-old son has been caught looking over my shoulder as I read these books with my younger ones. The reality is that they aren’t too old. They still love the stories, they still love the quiet time with mom or dad.
Why do we think that our kids get too old for us to read to them? Is it that we just feel awkward about it? Or we get out of the habit of it and then it feels odd to restart? I’m not sure, but I know that reading with our older children is a blessing. Hearing and enjoying a story together is bonding. My family has been reading The Wingfeather Saga together in the evening for quite some time. It doesn’t happen every night, but most nights before bed we read a chapter or two. It is a delight to hear and experience the story together as a family. It bonds the kids and us in a way that few other things can. We all go off getting ready for bed talking about what happened and what might happen next after the most recent “cliffy-hanger.” We’re frightened together, inspired together, joyful and sad together. Few other things can do this in the same way, with the same depth and beauty.
On Tuesday in my RISE group another Mama shared that when she was a teenager and things were hard in her life she would ask her dad to read to her. As tears flowed down her face she described how her dad reading to her brought her comfort and peace. A sweet moment shared between father and daughter, recalled over 20 years later with such affection that the rest of us were also crying. This is the power of these moments, of story, of quiet, restful time together with a book. It is healing, it is comforting, it is bonding. These moments are worth the effort.
This could be done in so many ways. But I’ll share with you what we’ve done as just one way that has worked to keep reading with our kids even as they’ve gotten older. When our kids turn four they start to learn to read. This starts with learning the first 26 phonograms and then we read BOB books which turn into early readers and so on. With some of them this has been a longer, slower process than others. But with this rite of passage also comes a different sort of reading time with mom. I start reading chapter books to them at this age, one chapter per day (most days). I make sure that it is just me and that one child for this special time. Eventually, they will start to read a short book to me and then I will read to them. It’s a fun way to encourage them to read, with the promise that I will read a chapter of their book to them after they are done. But the one on one reading time is about more than just a reading lesson–there has been far more fruit than just teaching them to read. We typically start by reading Winnie the Pooh or the Peter Rabbit stories or the Burgess Animal Stories. Then we move on to Charlottes Web and Stuart Little. I always knew this time would be looked forward to by them and me, and it is. But I didn’t realize that this habit would set me up to be able to keep reading with each of my children even as they get old enough where a lot of kids don’t sit and have their parents read to them anymore. My 9-year-old still begs to read with me each day so he can hear more of the story that we are reading together. It perhaps helps that there are some books that we don’t let them read on their own but that we hold back in reserve for this special reading time. These are generally books that either are so special and sweet that we want to enjoy them with them (e.g. Chronicles of Narnia, Anne of Green Gables, Heidi, The Hobbit) or have some elements that we want to have them read with us instead of alone (e.g. The Green Ember, Harry Potter, The Wingfeather Saga). Regardless, this has created a situation in which I can easily continue reading with my kids far past the picture book days.
Like I said, this could be done in so many ways. But if you have little ones at home, I recommend starting something like this around 4-5 years old. Once the habit has been created, keep at it. Even after they are proficient readers and you don’t need to have them practice reading to you, keep on reading to them. And when you want to drink your coffee, you can have them take over. If you have older ones at home and you aren’t in the habit of reading with them, be bold. Pick a great book, fight the urge to avoid the awkwardness, and find a cozy spot to sit and read that book together. They may initially be resistant, but if you’ve picked a good book, they’ll surely become invested in the story over time. And you’ll be investing in far more than just a book. With those 20 minutes a day, you’re investing far more in that kid than a whole host of activities that we spend a fortune on. This one is free and it is a winner.
