Summer.

It is officially summer here in our home with the kids finished with the school year and the neighbors’ pool open.  Although it felt a little more like just the beginning of spring these past few days– Cincinnati weather, enough said.  Summer ushers in so much promise of fun. The garage fridge is fully stocked with popsicles, juice boxes, string cheese, and more.  Bikes and scooters have been out daily.  There is a bag of pool toys and towels exploding in our mud room space.  There are dirty feet tramping through the house leaving dirt and grime and open doors in their wake.  There is laughter and joy, ease and free time.  And yet, there is also strife.  

I don’t want to admit this. I so want our summer days to look perfect with the picnic blanket in the backyard and the hikes and the late evenings by the fire.  And of course, I know that there will be so much of all of that, but I also know that there will be strife.   There will be moments where I am too harsh, moments where I correct out of my frustration and anger instead of love, moments where I’m exhausted and it’s just all too much.  So knowing this ahead of time, what do I do?  Throw my hands up and say forget it?  Strive harder to make everything perfect?  We all know that both of these options will end in disaster.  

The truth is hard. The truth is that I have to accept that I am not God. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. There is nothing that I can do, no workout plan, eating plan, prayer plan, or book I can read that will make me a perfect mom. I still struggle to admit this. I am a “put on your big girl panties and figure this out” kind of gal. I generally believe that if I just wake up earlier I can solve all of the issues we face. If I just work a little harder, spend a little more time with God, read this other book on my list . . . then I’ll be kind in every hard moment, have the right word to speak at the right time, and have nothing to look back on and feel regret. And yet, almost 9 years of motherhood has certainly taught me that I am not perfect, I am far from it, and striving for that perfection is a lost cause that is only likely to cause me to feel sorrow and shame. The truth is that there was only one perfect person to walk this Earth and that was Jesus. He did that for me and for you, to redeem us, to heal us, to call us to Him. I am not Him, nor will I ever be Him. When I try to pull myself up by my bootstraps and be perfect, this is just pride, my feeble attempt to be God.

I can never be God, but I can call upon Him. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29. When we’re weary, Jesus says, come to Him and he will give us . . . rest. Not a prescription for increased productivity, not a book recommendation, not a lecture . . . rest. When I read this it’s like a weight lifts off my shoulders, like I’m seeing a truth that I’ve been too blind to see for far too long. He wants to take my burdens and give me rest. I don’t deserve this. It seems too easy. Certainly I should have to earn this favor. But I don’t, the gift was freely given. (Romans 6:23)

So in this house, you can expect that there will be laughter, joy, fun, learning, growth, and . . . mistakes. I will mess up, my kids will mess up, we will fall short, we will frustrate each other and we will say things we wish we hadn’t. But what we do with those mistakes is what makes us different. When we make mistakes we will call upon God. We will seek His forgiveness and the forgiveness of those we hurt, and we will seek His rest.

This summer, we are learning and focusing on this verse: “Be kind and helpful to one another, tenderhearted, compassionate, understanding. Forgiving one another, readily and freely, just as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32. So go, be kind and helpful to one another. Be tenderhearted, compassionate, understanding. Forgive each other. Readily. Freely. And remember that God in Christ has forgiven you. So walk in that forgiveness and seek His rest. Summer is before you, seize the moments, capture the joy, and take your burdens and mistakes to God. He is the only one who take those burdens and turns them into rest.